Who Would You Be?

Posted by Christopher Waldrop

June 18, 2008 |

Reading Michael Dirda’s thoughts on being James Bond, I couldn’t help thinking what it would be like to be able to be a character in a book. And which character would I be? It’s an old idea. In fact a short story by Woody Allen, The Kugelmass Episode, from his book Without Feathers, is all about the disastrous effects of a man getting his wish and having an affair with Madame Bovary. It’s bad enough when he actually shows up in the book:

What he didn’t realize was that at this very moment students in various classrooms across the country were saying to their teachers, “Who is this character on page 100? A bald Jew is kissing Madame Bovary?” A teacher in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, sighed and thought, Jesus, these kids, with their pot and acid. What goes through their minds!

A Stanford professor, though, doesn’t blink, but just thinks, “Well, I guess the mark of a classic is that you can reread it a thousand times and always find something new.” When Kugelmass brings Madame Bovary out of 19th Century France and into 20th Century New York, though, things get even worse. Emma becomes addicted to caviar and champagne and enrolls in acting classes.

What character would you be, though? Pick a book, any book. Or any character. Take a chance on living a completely different life, of living an adventure or a story you love so much you’d like to see it firsthand. Or imagine getting to live outside the confines of the covers, of getting to live the life of a character you feel you really know, getting inside their heads. It’s hard to narrow down, although I think I know who I’d pick. What about you, though? Would it be better to be a hero or a peripheral character? Or would you just want to immerse yourself in some other world? Given the chance, who would you be?


Comments

3 Comments so far

  1. Ginger M on June 19, 2008 12:46 pm

    Alice in trippy Wonderland! Growing and shrinking, meeting interesting characters,and tea parties! I could do without the Queen of Hearts experience though - she’s crazy!

  2. Dan Jensen on June 19, 2008 2:10 pm

    Captain Ahab comes to mind. Maybe it would be worth all the venom, obsession, and insomnia to find out what was going on in his head.

  3. Peptodismal on July 10, 2008 8:06 pm

    A catcher in the rye

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