Have you ever wondered who writes the film plot blurbs for newspapers, magazines, or, for that matter, the backs of the cases the films are packaged in? I’ve often read them and thought whoever does that has one of the greatest jobs in the world. Watch all those films would be a definite plus. Yes, that would mean sitting through some really awful movies, but imagine being paid to spend all your time watching movies. Then, as an added bonus, there’s the special challenge of having to sum up the film itself in sometimes fewer than a hundred words.
Just so you know, that paragraph was ninety-nine words.
What really made me think about this was the plot summary on the back of a two-movie DVD I picked up because, Wow! it was just $1. Actually it was fifty-cents. The summary for Revolt Of The Zombies (a nifty little 1936 zombie film) was very straightforward and professional-sounding, the sort of summary you’d read in your cable guide or in a newspaper. The summary for Vengence [sic] Of The Zombies was more like a book report written at the last minute by a third-grader on the bus. And I’m being generous. Here it is in its entirety:
These two grave robbers are robbing a tomb when they get trapped inside. Then this voodoo guy shows up and brings the body to life and it kills them. The dead body’s cousin (I think) goes to this seance, then goes to a cursed house to visit this guru.
I kid you not. The funny thing about this summary, though, is it accomplishes exactly what these summaries are supposed to do. It makes me want to see this movie, if only because I’m curious to see just how bad it really is. Also I really want to see “this voodoo guy”.